When Joy Feels Unsafe | Navigating Foreboding Emotions

Ever had that moment when life feels too good? Everything is going right, you feel happy, things are flowing… but then that familiar sense of doom creeps in.

Something bad must be coming. Right?

I’ve felt this so many times in my life. For years, I lived in a constant state of low-key dread, waiting for something to pull the rug out from under me. It wasn’t until I read about foreboding joy in Brene Brown's Atlas of the Heart that I realized this was an actual thing.

She describes it as “the inability to fully experience joy because we’re waiting for it to be taken away.”

And wow—was that a wake-up call.

Instead of letting myself fully feel happiness, I would prepare for the worst. I thought I was protecting myself from disappointment, but really? I was robbing myself of the joy I already had.

Why Do We Fear Joy?

🔹 Past experiences shape our expectations. If hardship has followed happiness in the past, we assume it always will.
🔹 Joy makes us feel vulnerable. We fear that fully embracing it will make loss even harder.
🔹 It’s a defense mechanism. If we expect the worst, maybe we won’t be blindsided.
🔹 We struggle with trust. Happiness feels temporary, so we brace ourselves instead of relaxing into it.

But here’s the truth: Bracing for impact doesn’t prevent pain. It only prevents joy.

The Cost of Protecting Ourselves from Joy

Foreboding joy tricks us into believing that happiness is dangerous—that it’s reckless to trust the good in our lives. But what’s the cost?

📌 It keeps us in a cycle of stress, anxiety, and self-sabotage.
📌 It prevents us from truly experiencing the moments that make life beautiful.
📌 It steals our ability to build resilience—because joy is what fuels us through hard times.

We think we’re being smart by staying on guard, but really? We’re robbing ourselves of the very thing that could strengthen us.

Practical Steps: Learning to Trust Joy

So, how do we break the cycle and start allowing ourselves to feel joy without fear?

1️⃣ We have to recognize it when it’s happening.

• When you catch yourself bracing for the worst, pause and name it. Say to yourself: “I am foreboding joy right now.” Sometimes, just calling it out takes away some of its power.

2️⃣ Start practicing gratitude in the moment.

• Instead of shifting into fear, shift into appreciation. When joy creeps in, say, “I am so grateful for this moment.” We have to let ourselves feel it—really feel it—to enjoy it.

3️⃣ Remind yourself: Preparedness and worry do not prevent pain.

• Just because we expect something terrible to happen doesn’t mean it will hurt any less if it does. But what it will do is rob you of joy in the meantime. 

4️⃣ Give Yourself Permission

• It’s okay to be happy without conditions. To enjoy the moment as it is. To trust that good things don’t always have to end in disaster.

Reflection

For me, so many of my most significant life changes stemmed from tragedy. When that pattern repeats enough, your brain starts expecting pain to follow happiness.

I didn’t want to live like this anymore.

I wanted to experience joy without immediately planning for how to survive its loss.

And I’ll be honest—it takes practice. But the more I let myself lean into gratitude, the more I see that happiness isn’t something to fear. It’s something to embrace.

Because at the end of the day?
Joy is meant to be felt and not feared.

If you’ve ever struggled with foreboding joy, I want you to take a moment and reflect on this:

✔️ When was the last time you felt joy—but immediately worried about losing it?
✔️ How have past experiences shaped your ability to trust happiness?
✔️ What would it feel like to fully embrace joy without bracing for impact?
✔️ How can you practice shifting from fear to gratitude this week?

Key Takeaways

🔹 Foreboding joy is the fear of fully experiencing happiness because we’re afraid it won’t last.
🔹 It tricks us into believing we’re protecting ourselves when we’re actually robbing ourselves of joy.
🔹 Preparing for the worst doesn’t soften pain—it only prevents happiness.
🔹 Practicing gratitude and naming the pattern helps us break free from the cycle.
🔹 We are allowed to experience joy without conditions.

Final Thoughts

Joy is not a setup for disaster.

If we can learn to lean into it, trust it, and let it be what it is, we can finally experience life the way it was meant to be.

It’s time to stop bracing for impact and start living free.

🎧 Listen now to The Free Advantage!

------ Buy Here: Atlas of the Heart ------