Envy: Not All That Glitters Is Gold

As a teenager, I idolized a celebrity. I studied her, emulated her, and dreamed of stepping into her world. When she wrote a memoir, I thought I’d finally get the inside look at the glamorous life I had always dreamed of. But what I found was heartbreak, struggle, and pain beyond what I could have imagined. 

I remember the excitement I felt waiting for that book—the inside scoop, the behind-the-scenes look at the life I had dreamed of having. But just a few chapters in, I was shocked into reality. 

My illusion shattered. I had spent years envying something I would never have chosen if I had known the reality behind it. That was the moment I understood—not all that glitters is gold.

The life I had envied wasn’t what I thought it was, and it was a moment that changed my perspective forever.

Envy vs. Jealousy

In this week's episode, I dive into the emotion of envy—one of the hardest to admit to but one that holds powerful lessons. I used to think I was jealous, but after a study into emotions, I learned the true difference between these two emotions.

• Jealousy is the fear of losing something we already have—whether it’s a relationship, an opportunity, or something we deeply value. It’s that gripping feeling of insecurity, the fear that someone or something might take away what belongs to us.
• Envy, on the other hand, is when we want something that someone else has. It’s the belief that they have something that we should have, but we don’t. It’s looking at someone else’s life, their success, their opportunities, and feeling that deep, unsettling ache inside that whispers: Why not me? Envy can even go as far as wanting the other person to lose what they have.

 And envy is a tricky emotion—it doesn’t just make us want something; it convinces us that we can’t have it.

From Envy to Gratitude

I share how, through that moment, I learned to start appreciating what I had and was grateful I haven't had to endure what she has.

It’s hard to believe sometimes that something as simple as a book, a story in one fell swoop shifted me from living a life of envy to a life of gratitude.

The opposite of envy isn’t success. It’s gratitude.

Envy tells us:
"You don’t have enough. You’ll never have enough."

Gratitude tells us:
"You have more than you realize."

I’m grateful for the life I have.
I’m grateful for the journey I’m on.
I’m grateful that I get to be me.

Practical Steps: Escaping the Envy Trap

✔️ Recognize it for what it is. Are you feeling jealousy or envy? Are you afraid of losing something or longing for something you don’t have?
✔️ Dig deeper. What is envy really telling you? Is it revealing an unacknowledged desire? Or is it lying to you, making you believe you’re incapable?
✔️ Look beyond the surface. The lives we envy are never as perfect as they seem. Ask yourself: Do I truly want this, or do I just want the illusion of it?
✔️ Shift to gratitude. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, focus on what you do. What are you proud of? What do you love about your life?

Reflection Exercise:
 

Think about a time you felt envious. What were you longing for? Now, take a moment to list three things you’re grateful for in your own life. How does shifting your focus change the way you feel?

Key Takeaways:

• Envy convinces us we’re stuck, but it’s often a sign of deeper desires.
• The lives we envy may not be as perfect as they appear.
• The antidote to envy isn’t success—it’s gratitude.
• Shifting your perspective can change everything.

Final Thoughts:

 If you’ve ever struggled with envy—if you’ve ever looked at someone else’s life and thought, Why not me?—you’re not alone. But the truth is, you have your own path, your own story, and your own success waiting to unfold. And it doesn’t start with longing for someone else’s life—it begins with embracing your own.