Acceptance & Judgment – Breaking Free

Acceptance & Judgment – Breaking Free

In this episode, we explore the profound journey of acceptance, examining why true growth and healing come not from self-improvement but from understanding, forgiving, and letting go. I share my personal struggles and insights on how judgment, especially self-judgment, creates barriers to living freely and authentically.

Embracing Inner Work: The Path to Healing

Inner work is something I knew I needed, but let’s be honest—it’s not something any of us really want to dive into. The thought of confronting my pain, digging deep, and facing my past felt overwhelming. But eventually, I realized it was the only way to truly grow and live free. I avoided this inner work for much of my life, unaware of how not working on myself impacted my quality of life. The transformation was undeniable once I began to address the wounds I had been carrying.

Why Self-Improvement Isn’t Enough

The self-improvement industry is massive, and while there’s always room to grow, real healing isn’t about constantly trying to "fix" myself. I’m not broken, and neither are you. Healing is something we’re naturally designed to do—it’s a God-given ability. I’ve sifted through the pain in my life, and it wasn’t until I faced the real culprits—my own unresolved issues—that I could truly begin healing.

I’ll be honest; there are still things I haven’t fully worked through, and healing will always be ongoing. But I can tell you, I’m happier, more content, and freer because of the work I’ve done. I’ve grown stronger more capable, and that’s the beauty of inner work—it’s a lifelong journey, not a quick fix.

My Turning Point: Facing the Truth

I share my pivotal rock-bottom moment. It was Valentine’s Day, and my ex-husband had kicked me out of our home with nothing but my son and a shattered sense of self. Thanks to a good friend, I was able to secure a house—but it wasn’t exactly what you’d expect. Sure, it was in a good neighborhood, but the previous tenant had turned it into a refuge for over 200 stray cats. The smell of waste filled the house, and it mirrored exactly how I felt on the inside—completely wrecked.

As I began cleaning that house, I realized I was also beginning to clean up my inner world. My external chaos reflected the mess I had been avoiding within myself. That was my turning point. I stopped trying to fix everything on the surface and started to work on the deeper issues—accepting, forgiving, and letting go.

Acceptance: The Key to Freedom

There was a time when I thought acceptance meant giving up, but I’ve learned that acceptance isn’t about settling for less. It’s about giving myself the space to breathe, to connect with my humanity, and to grow into the person I’m meant to be. Acceptance isn’t about lowering my standards—it’s about embracing myself as I am, flaws and all, while still striving for change. Judgment, however, is one of the biggest barriers to acceptance.

Judgment: The Real Barrier to Acceptance

We all judge. Even when we try not to, judgment creeps in. And the tricky part? The judgments I’ve placed on others often reflect the harsh judgments I place on myself. When I hold myself to impossible standards, I find I do the same to those around me.

Judgment stops us from accepting ourselves and others. It keeps us stuck in shame, thinking that if we’re hard enough on ourselves, we’ll eventually change. But that’s not how growth works. I can’t punish myself into becoming better. True growth starts with accepting who I am, where I am, and how I am in this moment.

Reflection Exercise:

• Where in your life are you judging yourself or others?
• In what areas are you struggling to accept yourself?
• How could accepting where you are today open the door to healing and growth?

Take time to reflect on these questions. Acceptance isn’t about giving up—it’s about giving yourself the freedom to heal and transform.

Recovery: We’re All on a Journey

I share one of my favorite quotes about acceptance that comes  from AA: 

“And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation – some fact of my life – unacceptable to me. I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.”

Acceptance is the answer.  And whether or not you are in recovery from an addiction, trauma, or simply the pressures of life. I believe we’re all recovering from the versions of ourselves that were shaped by society, our upbringing, or fear and judgment. Every day, I’m in recovery from the person I was conditioned to be. Through acceptance, I’ve learned to reclaim my power and live more authentically.

Key Takeaways

• Self-Improvement vs. Inner Work: Self-improvement can feel like an endless race, but real growth happens when I stop trying to fix myself and start doing the real work of healing.
• Acceptance Over Judgment: Judgment can hold us back. I’ve had to learn to accept myself unconditionally, which has opened the door to peace and growth.
• Personal Story: My rock-bottom moment changed everything. It led me to face the hard truths and embrace acceptance.
• The Power of Acceptance: Acceptance isn’t resignation; it’s a powerful practice that allows me to live in alignment with who I am.
• Judgment as a Barrier: Judgment blocks acceptance, whether directed at myself or others. The antidote? Understanding and compassion.

Final Thoughts

I’ve judged myself harshly for not living up to some unrealistic idea of who I thought I should be. But here’s the truth I’ve discovered: real healing and growth come from accepting myself as I am. Judgment stifles growth; acceptance creates the space I need to breathe, to make mistakes, and to grow at my own pace. Acceptance is a powerful act of self-love that goes beyond self-improvement. By embracing who we are, we can move past self-betrayal and step into our true selves. Remember, you are enough just as you are, and acceptance is the key to the freedom you already own.